Saturday, February 19, 2005

Punctuation

You'll see the quote from The Balkan Trilogy down below with the last sentance

In the bow of the window, that overlooked the park, stood a grand pianoforte.

I keep on re-reading that and wanting to rewrite it. Should the first comma go? Does it need radical overhaul? Should that 'that' come out? If so, it might seem to refer to the bow of the window rather than the window, sure. But and -ing for the -ed.

In the bow of the window overlooking the park, stood a grand pianoforte

would keep the window and the park together in a way

In the bow of the window, that overlooked the park, stood a grand pianoforte.

Am I just finicking?








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